nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
