i think i have herpe
just one?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
