she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
