went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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