boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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