Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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