he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
