Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
