The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
