walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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