Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
