So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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