'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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