I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
