So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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