Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
