i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
