you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
