My pussy is not your playground.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
