now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
