would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
