your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
