wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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