Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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