all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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