after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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