she was so not down for the gang bang
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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