Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
