meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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