But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
