Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
