its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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