Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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