Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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