He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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