Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
