I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
