Buhtt sex?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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