Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
