in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
