This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
