you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i dont even know how to be here
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
