They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Your penis caused this!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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