You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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