eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
