Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
