Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
