Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
