i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
