I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
